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Christian Homosexuality
Letters to a friend battling homosexual temptations
by Phil Maxwell, December 1999
In December, 1999, a
good friend and Christian brother revealed to me that he had given up a
long-time fight against his own homosexuality, entered into a relationship with
another man, and aligned himself with the "Christian homosexual"
sub-culture.
What follows are three
letters that constitute the core of the discussions between us on this matter,
edited only slightly for the sake of publication, mostly to the end of guarding
the identity of my friend, who is called 'George' in the following.
'George' and I had an established relationship that allowed a quite open
dialogue on this sensitive issue of homosexuality and pertinent principles of
Biblical Christianity applied to real life.
The matter truly
challenged my understanding of precepts like sin and grace to extreme limits,
and proved a very enlightening exercise in discerning between the flesh, soul,
and spirit of man for me. Although lengthy and somewhat personal in parts,
I hope the reader will find this thought provoking and edifying towards
revealing the mind of Christ regarding brotherly love, faith, sin, and grace in
general, as well as homosexuality itself, which is a matter that does
affect each and every member of the body of Christ, though few understand it at
all.
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And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.
(1 Co 12:26)
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Letter #1 -- My
initial response to the revelation of George's homosexuality.
My Dear Friend &
Brother,
Oh my, where do I
begin? I have discerned and loved Christ in you for some time now, and I
have ached over the distance (not measured in miles) that seems to have always
prevailed between us. Now, the perplexity this has often caused me has been
largely set to rest, and I truly thank you for following what I believe is the
Lord’s lead in sharing this with me. I take it as an expression of
respect and trust that you would reveal your homosexuality to me, and I am
deeply moved with compassion as I consider the inward and outward turmoil this
has surely wrought in your life.
I have a multitude of
thoughts, but am at somewhat of a loss for words at this time. Far from
rejecting you, I hope this will serve to tear down the barrier that has existed
between us. My love for you and longing for fellowship in the Spirit with you is
not diminished one bit. I accept you on the same basis I always have, the
same basis Yahshua accepts me, as a sinner saved by grace. I do understand how
this has hindered you from contacting me and visiting us, but I do not accept it
as a valid reason for you to continue avoiding me. I am reminded of the
fact that the Lord Yahshua, the holy Son of God, is not ashamed to consider
sinners like you and I His own brethren, so I figure if He loves and receives
us, then so should we love and receive one another.
There would seem to be
some differences in our views, and I would be very interested in hearing what
you have to say. It is not a subject I have personally had an occasion to
thoroughly explore, but I can see potential value in my ministry in doing so.
I won't tell you that I have no concerns in this, both in general and personally
for you, but to put them in perspective, I'm far more concerned about the
institutionalized devaluation of the grace of God and salvation of sinners by
mainstream Christianity than homosexuality. My personal concern for you is
primarily with regard to the spiritual implications, not the fact of your
homosexuality. Briefly, I see it as something that wars against your
soul and that potentially hinders your part in the coming together of Yahshua's
people in the unity of the faith that I envision. Let me qualify
this by stating that there is nothing in me that desires to condemn you or
assume a role beyond being a friend and brother. I believe that the
Head of every man is Christ and have no desire to usurp His place as such with
you or anyone.
I have a strong
interest in taking advantage of this opportunity for us to draw closer to each
other and the Lord Yahshua. Please write back.
In Yahshua's love,
Phil
Letter #2 -- George's
response.
Dear Phil,
Thank you for that
most wonderful reply to my revelation. Again (though no longer
amazed) you bless me with the Christ in you. I'll be happy to discuss with
you some of the things that I have learned in the study of God's Word and the
subject of homosexuality. I do not claim that God's intention was Adam and
Steve, rather I acknowledge God made man Male and Female...both, together,
separately, distinctively, or even in the oneness of marriage to mirror the image
of God and His likeness. There is
much to be said in
regards to this subject, and I will not claim that I have all the answers for I
do not. I will state this much, that...
1. We are saved
by grace through faith, it is the gift of God.
2. Salvation is
for the whosoever, and homosexuals are 'whosoevers' as well as the rest of
humanity.
3. The system of
Mosaic law which is often called upon to prove that God hates homosexuality and
calls it abomination is the same system that Christ has fulfilled, and that if we
today were judged by that system none of us could ever hope to be saved.
Many things done by Christians today are directly forbidden in the law and would
have us ostracized from the commonwealth of Israel.
I claim that the law
was a schoolmaster, a tutor, one to lead us to the free gift of God, for us to
see our inability to ever earn or keep the gift that God so freely gives to
those who call on the name of the Lord.
There are apparent
scriptures that seemingly state that male/male or female/female relationships are
sinful but in reality if the context and the then contemporary word usages are
taken into respect it will be seen that this is not the case against same sex
relationships. I am not at all stating that the scriptures teach us same
sex relationships, but rather that it does not condemn it, at least not in the
manner that is held by most of Christendom today.
Many homosexuals live
in fear of being found out, fear being exposed to ridicule and humiliation.
No homosexual (that I know of) has ever "chosen" to be what they
are......my God...why would we wish for the opposition and the rejection that is
so often offered and given? Certainly not because we're starving for
attention....God forbid!
I have been talking
with people (literally in the hundreds) under an assumed name concerning is
subject and many which are Christians who believe they are gay, but live in fear
NOT of God...but of people. Most will tell me..."yeah I know God
loves me....but its the church" or "it's mom or dad".
I can't tell you how many hearts hurt over the fear of rejection. This
doesn't make for an excuse, but rather it acknowledges
a problem that is very
real regardless of whether one favors or opposes homosexuality. I for one
have settled in my heart that I am what I am...and I will not any longer lie to
myself or to God OR to others about who and what I am. Again I'm not
claiming "excuse"....I'm not....I'm not claiming that I need one
either. I do know that, regardless, I in my life can tell others about the
Love of God in Jesus Christ made available to all of us by faith.
We shall talk more,
but I have to go at the moment. By any chance do you have a copy of that
article you posted a year ago? I would like to read it, I don't recall
reading it.
In His Hands - George
Letter #3 -- Long,
detailed letter outlining my thoughts on Christians and homosexuality
Dear George,
In perusing one of the
sites you recommended, I came across a comment on the commonly used phrase,
"love the sinner, hate the sin." She wrote that what this said
to her was that they loved her as they wanted her to be, not as she was. I
thought this was a good point, and, yet, even though I agree that our love for
one another must be unconditional if it is to emulate the Father's love, I
continue to be personally unsettled by the notion of homosexual Christians.
I also reviewed some
materials put out by mainstream Christians regarding homosexuality, and my still
forming views don't agree with those, either, but I am cautiously aware of the
volatility of the issue on both sides. Given our relationship, George, I hope to
have the liberty to freely express myself without fearing being wrongly
associated with those who have institutionalized offenses towards the homosexual
community. Against my will, I have been obstructed from enjoying the
full benefits of fellowship (giving and receiving) within the ranks of the
mainstream Christian community for 30 years myself. The reasons have
included uncontrollable compulsions in the flesh like drugs, alcohol, and
smoking, but even where allowances for these things may have been possible, my
non-acceptance of the deity of Christ doctrine has been an insurmountable obstacle.
Not to digress, but I
think the deliverance I have experienced from my former drug problems is
somewhat related to my thoughts in this. I actually was delivered twice
from this bondage. The first time was after over 10 years of this being
the foremost obstacle between the fulfillment of my earnest desire to be a
Christian, at least as I perceived a Christian to be. The Lord mightily
delivered me from then, physically cleaning out my system of all
traces of drugs and placing a hedge around me from the demons that would have no
doubt overpowered my will in it. That hedge was lifted three years later, though, and I fell back into it in full force as I faced a personal
crisis centering on the breakdown of my marriage. It was during this
time that I experienced my second deliverance, and it was different from the
first:
One day, as Eric and I
prepared to make a run to replenish our marijuana supply (I was staying with him
while Brenda and I were separated), I randomly opened my Bible to Isaiah 41, and
verse 10 jumped off the page at me, if you know what I mean. It read,
"Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I
will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the
right hand of my righteousness." I was so taken aback by it that I
read it to Eric, but it in no way deterred either of us from our plans.
Then, a short while later, we made a necessary
stop on our way to
cash checks at the grocery store. While standing in line, I found a piece
of paper folded up in a small triangle at my feet. I picked it up,
unfolded it, and, lo and behold, it had nothing written on it except the text of
Isaiah 41:10! Needless to say, I concluded that the Lord was trying
to tell me something, and He was. As we completed our task of
scoring more dope, I felt no prick of conscience, but I did continue to consider
this matter. In fact, I still do, and keep this verse on a post-it note in
front of me at my desk to this day.
Anyway, to get to the
point, I took this whole thing very personally. The Lord had told me not
to be afraid, and promised that He would strengthen and help me.
Moreover, He had done so without regard to the fact that I was separated from my
wife and had fallen head over heals back into the drugs He had graciously
delivered me from as a prelude to filling me with His Spirit three years prior.
Punctuating all this was the realization that it was His righteousness, not my
own, that upheld me. Understanding that His love and grace reached me
where I was at, that I was no more or less worthy of it in my present
circumstances than I'd ever been, I found freedom. Freedom, that is, to
seek Yahweh in my times of trouble, even that which was of my own making.
From that point on, I
began praying and searching the Scriptures as I had done before, even while
rolling and smoking joints. Let me tell you, George, it was very
liberating to pray while smoking a joint, and I don't mean that in any sort of
mocking or blasphemous way. I have a great respect for the power and
authority of the devil as the god of the world in which I live, at least in the
flesh, and conclude that his power to entice and tempt me in the flesh is
greater than my power to resist. I was powerless to change those
circumstances, unable to overcome the compulsions I had in the flesh for drugs,
but I was deceived in thinking that this blocked my access to the throne of
grace. As I continued to exercise this liberty to pray with complete
dependence on the righteousness imputed to me by the blood of Christ, my
compulsions subsided until I no longer needed drugs, and our marriage was
ultimately restored better than it was.
Thus, I have come to
see my first deliverance as a deliverance from drugs, but my second as a victory
over Satan. I resisted the devil by not allowing him to keep me from
trusting in Yahshua's blood even though he had power over me in the flesh, and
he fled, his plans quite foiled. Revelation 12:11 describes the
saints ultimate victory over the devil, saying "they overcame him by the
blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their
lives unto the death." As I see it, if we value the high price of
Yahshua's blood that has been paid for our redemption, we will continually come
boldly to the throne of grace and preach the gospel thereby, no matter what the
devil causes to befall us in the flesh.
If we allow ourselves
to fall under condemnation for what we allow in the flesh, we effectively
nullify the grace of God. Condemning others for similar reasons is even
worse. This common and acceptable mindset amongst Christianity is why the
harlot will fall and become "the habitation of devils, and the hold of
every foul spirit, and a cage of every unclean and hateful bird."
(Rev 18:2) Not to digress, but I think this is the flood of water cast out
of the serpent's mouth which will be absorbed by the flesh (earth) in his ill
fated attempt to destroy the woman who bears the man child. (Rev 12:15-16)
Many will find themselves falling into things in the flesh that equal and exceed
what they had formerly condemned in others. The overcomers will come out of her,
though, and will prevail by the blood of the Lamb...
Of course, my point in
all of this is that we should trust in the grace of God no matter what, not only
for ourselves, but for others, as well. In the apostles' day, it was the
"unclean" Gentiles believers that were a target of the Christian
establishment, as they fought to compel them to conform to their external
standards in order to be accepted. You might say that they "loved the
sinner, but hated the sin" in their own way, but Paul withstood them
fervently. As demonstrated from the moment the gospel was opened up to
Cornelius' Gentile household, the standard of judgment as to who should be
received in fellowship as a believer is whether or not Yahshua receives them,
period.
Circumcision,
sabbaths, holy days, and dietary restrictions may no longer be major issues of
division, but the same spirit survives through attitudes about many other things
today. As I said, I've experienced being excluded over smoking, alcohol,
drugs, and doctrinal differences, and I think there's some similarity between my
dismay over this and the exclusion you and others feel over homosexuality.
Because this has been such an important issue to me, I am cautious in my
judgment. I ask myself, is there a substantive difference between the fact that
I can never surpass "familiar visitor" status at my local UPC church
because I smoke, and that you may not even be allowed that if your homosexuality
were known? Even though I recognize that there is a difference of degrees
in the attitudes, I don't really think so. In either case, whatever love
and acceptance may be manifested is conditional and has little if anything to do
with the grace of God.
However, in
recognizing such cases of rendering the grace of God of no effect, we must be
careful not to effectively do the same thing in response. I remember a few years
ago hearing a young aspiring preacher who was allowed to preach one Sunday at a
church we attended for a while. It was the final service of a youth
revival at the church, and his message was primarily directed to them.
Attempting to raise the intensity of his message towards the end, he
passionately went through a list of things preceded by "Don't tell me
you're a Christian if you..... !" and one of those things was smoking.
Eric, Lisa, Brenda, and I all smoke, and they all wondered whether or not I was
going to get up and leave. I thought about it, but the Lord quickly directed my
thoughts towards a couple points from the book of Acts. One was that it was,
indeed, wrong to call unclean what God has cleansed, as Peter was shown before being
sent to Cornelius' house. The other was that Peter had faithfully served
Yahshua for quite a few years before that, but was still a bigot who needed to be
shown three times what might have seemed a pretty simple point. I
concluded that the young man was wrong in his attitude and words, but that
didn't mean I should condemn him for it.
Now, let me clarify
that I don't get a sense of such counter-condemnation from you towards other
Christians, and I would be quite surprised to detect such a thing from you.
From what I gather, however, it is a problem amongst the ranks of some those
whom you identify with. I don't say that as a matter of judgment so much
as observation, for I certainly understand how easy it can be to react in kind
to the mistreatment of others.
This brings me to a
concern I do have regarding you and other homosexual Christians, which is
another way in which the blood of Christ can be devalued. At the risk of
seeming to speak from a conditional, "love the sinner, hate the sin"
perspective, my concern is that when we justify, mitigate, or otherwise diminish
the significance of our own conduct, we effectively do the same and in similar
proportion to grace. I don't think that drugs, smoking, and alcohol are in
themselves moral issues, but I've
never found any reason, just the same, to diminish my need for grace regarding
the place these things have had in my life. I've got a lot of moral
indiscretions in my history as well, but, likewise, the resolve to these has
always been in seeing the power of the blood of Christ over them, not
diminishing my perception of God's judgment against them.
Thus, I don't consider
myself in a place to condemn others over their personal conduct, sexual or otherwise, and
even if I were, I wouldn't. Nevertheless, I believe that Yahweh, the
Creator of all things, does condemn such things, even though He has given us
grace. Grace does not exempt us from yielding the consequences of sin in
the flesh (we all still die), but what it does is twofold: One, it opens
the door for the new life of the Spirit to be given to us, and two, it gives us
time thereby to store up riches in heaven that will ultimately be reaped in the
resurrection, where our real hope lies. Also, the new covenant established
by Yahshua's blood differs with the old one in that He is the High Priest and
Judge, not earthly men, and His judgment is righteous, being full of mercy and truth.
Whereas under the law
of Moses, one might have a lot of motive to justify or conceal their sin, for
the consequences for many were quite severe, the same is not true under the law
of Christ. For instance, someone guilty of murder or adultery under the
old law was subject to capital punishment, but now we can find mercy even for
such actions under Yahshua. Before, we might have had a good reason to
hide our guilt, but not anymore. The point is that if we truly recognize
the awesome thing that has been accomplished on our behalf through the death and
exaltation of Christ, there is no reason to do anything other than run to the
throne of grace when faced with our own sins, failures, and shortcomings.
Even so, the natural mind and the prevailing attitude of this world is to
justify ourselves rather than humbly present ourselves to Yahweh our God that we
might receive mercy. There is no justification to be found in the blood of
Christ or otherwise for things that are contrary to God's will unless His
judgment of them is accepted first, but mercy is never denied to those who seek
it. This is what Paul was addressing in chapter 7-8 of Romans when he
spoke of serving the law of sin and death in the flesh, but the law of God in
his mind.
Speaking of Paul, he
also wrote a total of four times in two passages in 1 Corinthians that all
things were lawful to him, which he qualified by also saying that not all things
were expedient, and he wouldn't be brought under the power of anything.
In short, as I understand it, he wouldn't allow whatever condemnation he may
have felt prevent him from pursuing the calling and work that he had been
appointed to, nor would he consent to doing things that would hinder the same by
affecting those who were weaker in the faith. Nevertheless, he made quite
a point of the liberty he had in Christ by repeating that all things were lawful
to him four times, leaving us to ponder does 'all things' mean 'ALL things'?
First of all, I think
he meant "things" of the flesh and specifically not attitudes of the
heart and mind in this, but in this context, I think he did indeed mean ALL
things were lawful. He answered to no law in the flesh regarding the
things of the flesh, and thus, technically, had the liberty to do whatever he
pleased in the flesh without fear of condemnation. This was not because
nothing in the flesh mattered, though, nor that there was no objective criteria
(like God's will) governing righteousness and sin in the flesh. I'll try to
explain what I mean:
When we come to Christ
we have not just been given new life, we have passed from death into life.
The law of God that dates back to Adam imposes the death penalty upon all flesh,
and Paul had already been tried and found guilty according to that law.
When we yield to Yahshua, we effectively turn ourselves in, face the judgment of
God, and are pronounced guilty. Once sentence has been passed, the
law has reached the limits of its authority, so it, therefore, has no more
authority insofar as an implement of judgment and condemnation. This
is why death row inmates are kept separate from other prisoners, for they have
nothing further to lose. The law that might increase the sentences of other
prisoners for theft, assault, or murder has no authority over them, for they
have already been found guilty and sentenced to the fullest possible extent of
the law. This doesn't mean, however, that theft, assault, and murder
committed by death row inmates wouldn't be just as bad as it would for others,
only that there is no additional penalty that can be issued to them beyond what
has already been decreed.
Unlike death row
inmates, however, when we come to Christ, as I said, we are given the Holy
Spirit and time on furlough in response. From that point on, our souls are
owned by the Lord Yahshua, saved unto good works. Rather than waiting out
our remaining time in bondage, we are given new life and set free. Prior
to that, our souls are subject to the flesh, which is subject to the god of this
world, Satan, who is in rebellion to God. Afterwards, our souls are
subject to the Spirit, which is subject to Yahshua, who is subject to the
Father. [Satan-flesh-soul = death; Father-Yahshua-Spirit-soul =
life.] Note, however, that our flesh is still in the world, which is
still subject to the devil, so in the flesh we may be drawn into things that are
still considered vile to God, but whether or not our souls fall under that power
is our choice. We may no longer be subject the judgment according to the
flesh, but contrary to common thinking, our souls are not exempt from judgment
after we come to Christ, and that is a point many would do well to consider
carefully. The sons of God are those who have not only received, but who
also submit to the Spirit of Christ. (Rom 8:9,14)
So, even though I
recognize that all things of the flesh are beyond the law to those who are in
Christ, I contend that not all things of the flesh are good, and we need
to be careful not to be brought under the power of such things. Lest this
be taken as an inordinate estimation of our strength, let me also say that our
generally underestimated adversary, the devil, can and does exercise power over
our actions in the flesh to the extent that God does not prohibit him. One
thing that we can be assured of is that the devil is impotent insofar as
compelling us in things that obstruct our walking in the Spirit, even though it
may not always seem that way. Galatians 5:16 says that if we walk in the
Spirit we shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. This is a promise, not
a commandment; It says DO as the Spirit leads us, and the lust of the flesh,
which is to keep us from so doing, will not be satisfied. If there is
something in the flesh that stands in the way of the Spirit's leading, it will
yield. Such was the case with my drugs in the past. In contrast, I
still smoke, but as much as I hate this, by the grace of God, it does not keep
me from walking in Spirit.
Most people don't
understand that, either, but I don't justify smoking, I just don't allow myself
to be condemned by it nor do I allow it to keep me from walking in the Spirit.
I figure that if it ever gets in the way, I am certainly willing and the Lord is
able to deliver me from this, too.
As I said in my first
reply to you, George, my concerns regarding your homosexuality are twofold, one
that it is something that may war against your soul, and, two, that it
potentially hinders your part in the coming together of Yahshua's people in the
unity of the faith that I envision. Given your further comments since
then, I have become concerned that your soul is being strongly influenced by the
flesh over this, whereas I long to see you, me, and all the children of God
being led by the Spirit.
As you know, I
understand that the law of Moses was a complete package that constituted the
covenant between Yahweh and Israel. Neither of us were ever partakers of
that covenant, so we were never subject to either its provisions nor its
promises. Sabbatarians often argue that if someone considers murder, theft, and
adultery wrong, they are hypocritical if they don't also keep the sabbath
commandment. My response to that is that my moral aversions to murder,
theft, and adultery have nothing to do with the ten commandments, but with my
submission to Christ and my own God-given conscience. I can hardly honor
Yahshua, who commands me to love my neighbor as myself, if I kill my neighbor,
sleep with his wife, or steal his car. The point is that even though I'm not
under the authority of the Mosaic law, it still contained expressions of the
moral law of God that transcends the Mosaic law. The difference between
what I'm saying and what many others contend is that others try to dissect the
Mosaic law and hold portions of it over us as though the new covenant Yahshua
established was an amendment to the old covenant. I believe the new
covenant completely replaces the old covenant in its entirety.
Nevertheless, there are certainly similar components in both the old and the
new, but the only reason someone under the old covenant was subject to those
tenets was because they were a part of that covenant, and the only reason we are
subject to the tenets of the new covenant is because we are part of it.
The fact that I cannot, in good conscience, murder my neighbor or sleep with his
wife does not mean that I am subject to the ten commandments, it only means that
the law of Christ covers similar ground as the law of Moses did in such things,
though on a more spiritual and simplified level.
My point in that is to
say that while I agree with you that we are not under the Old Testament law,
that does not necessarily indicate that the moral guidelines stated therein no
longer reflect the heart and mind of Yahweh for us. He didn't approve of
murder, adultery, and thievery in Moses' day, nor does He now, though if not
clear before, Yahshua made it abundantly clear that His objections to such
behavior was always the self-serving and unloving attitude behind such actions. Your contention seems to be that since we are not under the Mosaic law
(which I think did more than "supposedly" condemn homosexuality, by
the way), and since homosexuality does not necessarily victimize anyone else, it
is not inherently sinful. I think that's a fair synopsis, but I trust you
will correct me if not. If this contention is true, we might look at
homosexuality in the same way as eating pork or working on Saturday, both being
conduct that was forbidden under the old law, but apparently having no real
moral significance now.
My thoughts on both
sabbath keeping and avoiding unclean meats has long been that they are both
things that are good things, like using the right type of oil in your car is
good. The Creator set these guidelines up for our benefit, and we would do
well to consider that He knows what is best for us, like we trust the engineers
who designed our cars to know what's best for them. Of course, just as
some deviations from our vehicle owner's manual recommendations may have little or no consequence, there are others that may result in
serious problems or even the destruction of our car. Nevertheless,
if it’s our car, we have the liberty to do with it as we see fit, right?
That's sort of where my thinking is going as I consider the concept of
homosexual Christians, although I would qualify that by the fact that our bodies
are not really our own if we are in Christ, but His. Now, I don't think
Yahshua is nearly the taskmaster many portray Him as with regard to our earthly
affairs, thinking rather that He delegates considerable discretion via grace to
us, especially if we dedicate ourselves to His work.
Thus, I come back to
the point that all things are lawful - even homosexual sexual activities - but
not all things are expedient, and that is where I have my doubts and concerns.
I should say at this point that I have no problem with the relationship you
describe with your lover. It sounds like something that answers your needs
in a good and constructive way, and I am very pro-intimacy amongst the people of
God. I think the lack of such intimate relationships within the body of
Christ is largely to blame for the lack of the power of God being manifested in
the form of the "greater works" Yahshua said there would be.
I say this to be sure that you know that my sole concern is not your
relationship, but the sexual aspect of it. Eric and I have had an intimate
and committed relationship for 17 years, though it has never been sexual (though
we've been accused of that), and I believe the Lord is at least trying to form
the same between myself and others, including you, or so I have long thought.
I'm going to digress
again on that point because I think the Lord would have me to share this with
you. Some time ago, I had a dream, more like a vision or thought,
which I think was of the Spirit. It was simply that I was in the
midst of a circle of demons, but, strangely, they were not attacking me.
Rather, they were faced out, away from me, and were fighting against those who
sought to get close to me. This relates to my calling, my zeal for the
restoration of the body of Christ, and what I perceive as the war raging in the
spiritual realm, at least with regard to me. The message to me in this was
for me to keep my peace and be still, for it is necessary for those whom the
Lord brings together with me to fight through that resistance which I've seen
manifested in many ways, but one thing that has been consistently evident is
that everyone who has indicated in some way that they feel that drawing towards
me has fallen under heavy demonic attack that causes them to draw back.
The coming together I speak of is of a spiritual nature, though I recognize it
could also involve being physically close, too. One thing I know is that
being in close physical proximity doesn't necessarily bring the same in the
Spirit, as these battles continue and often grow in intensity with those who are
nearby. Is this pertinent to you? I don't honestly know, George, but
I thought it worth mentioning. I trust that if you are willing to follow,
Yahshua is able to lead you in the ways He wants you to go, regardless, and
above all, that is what I want for you. What we all must keep in mind is that
many are called, but few are chosen. We must be determined in the pursuit
of our calling, lest it slip away from us.
So, as I ought to wrap
up this lengthy discourse of my random thoughts, let me attempt to be coherent,
at least in my conclusion. I think that the only sexual activity that is
truly sanctified by God is that which exists between a man and wife, which is to
say that marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled. (Heb 13:4) I don't
believe that men are naturally attracted to men nor women to other women
sexually, but think, rather, that Satan, the god of this world, and his demons
cause this for the sake of bringing the souls of men and women into
bondage. Condemnation, ridicule, and hatred by so-called Christians
towards homosexuals is also of the devil and serves to further that aim. I
want no part of such attitudes myself, but don't think the correct response is
to fabricate a defense for sexual conduct that has never been approved of by
God. The correct response is that even so, Yahshua died for sinners, and
His grace is sufficient.
I'm glad that you and
others have come to a point of finding liberty through the blood of Christ by
coming out from the cloud of condemnation and shame that held you down.
Though under different circumstances, I know that feeling. You wrote,
"I still hold to the faith and will continue to do so. As I have said
to my friends that surround me, if ever I had to choose between my faith and my
sexual orientation I would choose my faith....! However I do not believe that
that is the case, or that I have to choose between the two." I don't
have any direct basis for differing with you on this, but as a friend and
brother that truly loves you, I would be remiss if I didn't at least suggest
that you consider this further. My concerns follow:
For one thing, I think
that the term "sexual orientation" wrongly puts the responsibility for
homosexuality upon the Creator. While I don't doubt that this inclination
is genuine and impossible to naturally overcome, if we rightly understand the
authority and power that Satan has over us in the flesh, we should recognize that
this is his work, not God's. As I alluded to before, however, even though
we may find ourselves inescapably under Satan's power in the world, that does
not mean that we have to abandon our faith, as you stated, also. If so,
the blood of Christ would have been shed for nothing. Thus, even though I
differ with the implications of the term "sexual orientation" as
though it were a naturally occurring phenomena of Yahweh's Creation, I agree
that we needn't choose between such things and our faith. I won't say that
you have to choose between homosexuality and your faith, but it isn't because I
think you were made a homosexual. It is because I don't know that you have
the power to exercise such a choice, as I didn't have the power to break my
compulsions to use drugs.
Similarly, I am
concerned that the potential consequences of the lifestyle you are in can be
great, just as mine was with drugs, only perhaps more so. I don't believe
we were made to engage in homosexual sex, and just like we put our car at risk
when we disregard the manufacturer's instructions for its care, so we put
ourselves at risk when we disregard the Creator's intended use of our bodies.
I hope you understand that I don't say this as in condemnation, for I love you
no less as result of this discovery. I understand that various
precautions can be taken, etc., etc., but that isn't exactly the angle of my
concerns for your safety and welfare. Its more that I believe that the
principle of reaping what we sow transcends natural, observable, and
controllable factors -- both for good and bad. A number of people
demonstrated loving concern for me when I was self-destructing with drugs, and
the love of God I saw in them ultimately helped make a difference for me.
I gather that you don't see homosexuality as necessarily self-destructive, and I
don't want to argue with you on the point, but I would respectfully differ, if
that is the case. If we do differ on this, the difference is really rooted
in the aforementioned point as to the origin of homosexuality (natural or
demonic).
Lastly, my primary
concern regards the impact of your homosexual lifestyle and your walking in the
Spirit. I have no absolute statements to make on this, as I believe being
led by the Spirit means just that. I can't tell you what the Spirit's
leading is in your day to day life, so I won't pretend that I can. I will
only say that I can foresee a great opportunity for your homosexuality to
obstruct, misdirect, and/or nullify the calling God has placed on your life
(which is not your own), but very little if any occasion for it to accommodate
the work of God through you. Our salvation is not only about us, but about
us being fitly joined into the body of Christ, which is greater than the sum of
its parts. For the very same reason that you and I cannot find a
place of full and unqualified fellowship within the ranks of the mainstream
churches, I don't envision that coming about within their ranks, but I do see it
happening and am committed to that end just the same.
I can see where coming
to a fuller realization of the grace of God is a step in the Spirit's leading in
your life, however, and I recognize that as a significant aspect of your
testimony. I would just urge you to continue seeking the grace and leading
of God, as I doubt your abandonment to homosexuality is the end of the
matter from His perspective. My first deliverance and receipt of the
Holy Spirit was preceded by an abandonment to my drug problems after ten years
of battling with it. I well remember what I thought was my last prayer
over 17 years ago. I told God that I couldn't afford to make any more
efforts to straighten up since every renewed repentance and resolve to do so was
followed by an even worse failure. In His mercy, He simply delivered me
anyway, though later I learned some things that you are already aware of, like
the fact that His grace reached me wherever I was at, and the real problem I had
was my failure to truly believe that. When I finally came to that
realization, the leading of the Spirit in my life didn't include the drugs, so
the compulsion for them, therefore, simply faded away.
There is one other
point that I'm still pondering with regard to the concept of homosexual
Christians, and that is a concern for the assembly of saints that I envision.
Not that I am or ever will be in a position to judge who should or shouldn't be
allowed to enjoin in fellowship within the context of a congregation of saints,
I wonder what the Lord's will would be if I were in such a position with regard
to those who were openly living a homosexual lifestyle? In the past, I
have forbidden unmarried people to sleep together in my house, and felt that I
was justified in doing so. It was not a matter of judging or condemning
them or their choices, but one of exercising the responsibility I have to Christ
as the head of my house with a clear conscience. I'm not sure
whether the same dynamics would apply or not, nor even if I should reconsider my
former judgment. What do you think?
I truly hope that
nothing I have said offends you, George. I neither ask for nor expect any
agreement, and I appreciate and am still considering all that you have explained
to me thus far. I also still hope we will have an opportunity to
meet face to face, and I hope you know that our door remains open to you.
Alas, dinner awaits me
at home, so I'd better close and send this. I look forward to your
response.
In the merciful love
of Yahshua,
Your brother and
friend,
Phil
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